19 July 2012

Making food, idiotproof… puff pastry, meat pie type thingy… the chicken variety.

So wanna make some tasty pastry type food? Easy as hell… especially when using this ├╝bercool Tupperware thingy.

Okay, get some chicken filet, 2 should do fine (frozen type chosen here) boil it in water for let’s say 15 minutes. Add anything you like tot the water, it isn’t going to do much, so salt, or bouillon cubes will do excellent to add some taste to the otherwise tasteless lumps of chicken.

Get your Tupperware thingy to do it the cool way and cut out circles of what google translate assures me is called puff paste in English, here in the Netherlands we call it bladerdeeg and it comes in sheets of 10x10 centimeters. Don’t have that nifty Tupperware thingy or anything like it, you can just use the whole sheet and fold it, not as neat, easy and a bit more messy, but it’ll do.

Chop your chicken humps into little bits, here you can go creative and add stuff, like ham, spam, onion, mushrooms or whatever get’s you going. Try to keep it along the same taste-pallet though, otherwise you will have a bad time (hip Meme/ SouthPark reference). I used only chicken and Boursin Gourmet, which is basically cream cheese with a shitload of indefinable herbs, in this case three peppers (and then some). It’s as easy as that and it tastes great, I even dare to suggest that whatever you do, it’s the boursin that makes it taste awesome.

Using the Tupperware thingy, quickly hold your sheets of dough under a hot running tab for about a second (no longer it will go mushy or even completely liquid) and lay it on the pacman type apparatus (formerly known as tupperware thingy), take a tablespoon of your chicken muck and gently put it in there and close the pacman. Take out your awesome and professional looking meat pastry thingy and lay it on whatever you’re planning to put in your oven, preferably a grate type thingy with baking/ oven paper otherwise you will lose your bottoms, well the pastries bottoms, using flower may also work.

Without the Tupperware thingy you lay down the sheets put a tablespoon of muck in the middle, fold the corners towards the middle and with wet fingers (now the hot running tab might prove painful, cold water will do) gentley press the edges so the whole thing is close up.

Now there’s a bit of a yucky part… to get your pastries all nice and golden brown you want to gently “paint”  your pastries with raw egg, make sure it’s mixed well and don’t use too much cause it will run and you’ll have to clean your oven way before it’s scheduled yearly cleaning.

Shove your awesome professional looking pastries in the oven, 18 minutes on 225 degrees Celsius should do.

And voila you’re done… be careful when eating though, the filling can be very, very hot….


Author cannot be held accountable for salmonella poisoning, burned fingers, limbs or tongue or utter failure to produce edible materials.