18 October 2012

My graveyard encounter....

So there I was, getting ready to take some pictures to use as background for one of my sites. When I saw a woman walking by. Being in a graveyard already gives me the creeps, so to say I was feeling uneasy is an understatement, but when this woman walked by something made my hair stand up straight. She was pretty and wore stylish and very feminine clothes, not slutty or cheap, but sexy in a classic way.

When she saw me looking she smiled at me and all the uneasiness I felt was gone instantly. Jokingly she started doing all kinds of typical photoshoot poses, now only three or four meters away from me. Since I wouldn’t mind looking back on this encounter later I actually went and got my camera out. Pressing the button half way to focus, the rectangle capturing the face of the woman in front of me shifted… and then I felt the blood drain from my face, I gasped for air and for a second time stood still, paused at that one horrifying moment as I saw rectangle after rectangle appear on the display… as a reflex I clicked the button and looked up. And found myself alone.

As soon as I regained control over my body, I now understand what scared stiff actually means, I ran from the graveyard, got my bike and went home. After days of not talking about the incident and completely ignoring the existence of my camera… I hadn’t even dared to get it out of my pocket, forced to wear my old jacket for days, curiosity eventually got the better of me. Trembling I got the camera from my coat’s inner pocket and switched it on. Off course the battery was dead, so I had to plug it in to my laptop. At the moment I connected the cable my laptop screen went black. Fearing every next second for minutes I finally got the courage to touch my laptop again and wanted to see if there was anything wrong, when it happened.

A white flash, like an old camera and the face of the woman from the graveyard in the middle of my screen, her face completely distorted, a mask of pure agony. I could not look away and heard the words in my head “I don’t want to be forgotten”. And then I blacked out.

I woke up the next day, my head on my desk, my laptop was switched on, just a regular screen, a news item on some site. Forcing myself to believe it was all just a weird dream, even feeling hallucination would be better than reality I regained my consciousness completely and went to check my email. At the moment I pressed the x on the internet window, I saw the news article that was on the screen… “Photographer rapes and kills at least seven women” with a picture of the graveyard lady underneath it… and then it was gone, I had closed the window. I never found the article again, I never even found the news site again. Though all data was completely erased from both my laptop and camera they have functioned normally ever since. But I will never forget that encounter, like she asked, I had never forgotten… and now I share it with you, release it to the web, to keep that last wish alive.

Hey kid! Your parents SUCK!

Okay so here’s me, riding my bike to work. Pouring rain already devastating my good mood, which wasn’t “all that” to start with today. On my way to work I pass two  schools. Now I get that children sometimes have to be brought to school, but understand that in the Netherlands you are rarely further than a few kilometers away from an elementary school (basisschool), so bringing a kid to school by car is rarely a necessity, especially considering the bizarre automotive constipation this causes.

So here’s me, wanting to get to work, in the pissing rain… and wind, having to avoid toddlers running across the road, big BMW’s and Mercedes’ standing in the middle of traffic, drivers talking (read yelling) to each other through their car windows while children everywhere do children’s stuff, like yelling, crying and being annoying in the middle of the road. I am actually stuck in traffic… on my F**KING BIKE!!!

Off course when pulling up to head home or to work, the drivers of these cars, most of which are cost more than my yearly income, so they probably have a good heating system, cozy radio channels and indoor bloody sauna… they are most certainly not cold and wet, like I am… will let a poor lonely biker pass before they zoom out of there… right? Wrong! Apparently being at work 10 seconds earlier is far more important than letting someone resembling Leonardo di Caprio floating in ice cold waters next to a sinking Titanic pass on their way to warmth and safety.

10 October 2012

My new girlfriend…

Okay before I get into trouble, the title is meant to explain how I feel about my beloved Janny. Today we celebrate that we have been a couple for 9 years and though it feels like we have always been together, at the same time I feel like we are only just dating, still fresh, still in love.

It is impossible to describe how I feel about my beloved Janny, how to explain that she still gives me butterflies when she smiles half asleep when I kiss her goodbye when I go to work, how to put into words how I feel like a teenager when I see her undress when she comes to bed, how to make someone understand the pride I feel when I walk beside her.

My love, my lover, my beloved, I love you

04 October 2012

Kiss a kitten, adopt a horse, world animal day is here.

Now I have recently written a column for enchantingeauty.nl about our three cats which will be published soon, but I didn’t want to pass the opportunity to write something about animals on my own blog.

World animal day is inspired by October 4th being the day of the patron saint of animals and the environment Franciscus van Assisi (Francis of Assisi) and is celebrated throughout most of the civilized world.

To us pagans, wiccans and otherwise spiritually engaged people animals are often extremely important to not only our diet (sorry vegans) or for being companions, but also as an inspiration. We use animal totems and amulets, refer to magical creatures made up from one or more existing animals and tell fables where animals can talk. We compare traits of certain creatures to our own and revere those animals for it. Wise owls, sly foxes and silly monkey’s all well known concepts. And whether they are true or not is of less importance, those aspects inspire us to improve ourselves. We look at the grace of a cat and long for that same grace, a longing that may eventually drive us to better our own posture. In many ways animals make us better humans.

Even in Christian texts animals are often used as inspiration or as a metaphor. Christ once a sheep will return a lion, the holy ghost is often pictured as a white dove and the evangelists  in art are always depicted as man, lion, ox and eagle. The evangelist s

Without doubt animals are important to us. And though we should always treat them with love and respect, even when we eat them or make clothes of them, take this day to take some extra effort. Donate to an animal charity, spread the word of animals in animal shelters and spoil your puppies and kittens. Because without them life would suck and we would suck.

Greetings from Odin, Loki and Freya

"No animals were harmed during the making of this blog, I myself did break a nail on the keyboard though"

02 October 2012


Shit, I need money. Not just because of the whole shitload of xbox games coming this way, but also because we have to eat, pay the vet and pay the bills. This year has cost us, insulin pens en extra medication (not completely covered by insurance), severe dental care (broken front tooth, not completely covered by insurance), 2 bicycles (and then some repairs, wheels, tires etc.), new refrigerator, up to 500 euro’s veterinary costs and if that was it, we would have managed, but it isn’t. More and more surprises came our way, none actually ended up as financially favorable and off course my wife lost her job because some idiots think it’s okay that you’re too old and too expensive at 31.

So funds are … lacking … at best.

for sale...
So being in a shitty mood as of late I have decided to change some things one of which will be felt throughout my circle of acquaintances. First, as you may have noticed I decided trying to make money on my artwork (deviant art, spreadshirt). And as much as I love you guys, really I do and I feel honored to have been asked for various projects the past few years. But today I have taken up my last free-of-charge gig. From now on all new projects regarding writing, blogging, designing tattoos and doing Tarot readings (though all made promises will of course be kept) will have to be paid for. I am in no sense greedy, but I am spending a lot of hours on good will and charity and I can’t keep it up anymore. Also, how can I expect to make money on artwork I am handing out for free elsewhere?

Because of my health I have little time besides my day job and what time I spend awake I am going to invest smart by either doing what’s good for me or doing what’s good for paying the bills, which is also good for me. Maybe when things start looking up again I can start picking up favors and freebies again, but for now I am sticking to commitments already made or paid jobs.

I am truly sorry, but I feel that over the past years I have built some skills, which have cost me time and money and even bits of my physical and mental health (headed towards a burnout on more than one occasion) and like any job which costs you time and requires some skill I feel a compensation is not unreasonable… and to be frank, I really need the cash too. It's messed up feeling like shit asking for money for time and effort you invest, but I do and I AM sorry.

So there it is, me being a whiney biatch again…