21 November 2011

Wanna be cool, bash Twilight, oh and I think I play too much computergames…


Internet made and broke me.....



I am learning how to tattoo, I can handle a sword like a pro, I know the names of demons of several

different religions, I am 6,3 feet a 100 kilo and have years of experience in martial arts… and only after that I am confident enough to say… I read twilight and watched the movies. Even scarier I didn’t hate them. No literary brilliance and no Oscar material, I’ll give you that, but it has little pretentions other than pleasing the fanbase and that’s a good thing. Ypu can bash the actors, you can bash the books. I am sure you have because doing anything else online immediately banishes you to the corner of the internet where Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber live.

Here there be spoilers….

On the contrary to popular believes and statements of bashers all around, among who there are few who actually read the books or seen the movies without predetermination not to like a single second of it, once you let yourself be drawn into the world of Bella and Edward it’s really somewhat addictive. The storyline is simple and nothing exceptionally new and it all connects seamlessly to the fantasy world of those who have just outgrown the fairytale realm. And that’s where it scores, without Shamalyinian plots or the obsessive need to kill main characters to increase drama Hollywood seems to love so much lately, neither is there the explicit need to go for any sort of bad ending, but it still manages to tell a tale of a somewhat dramatic love affair. It’s the rollercoaster ride of a teenage girl growing into a woman, a mother… and a vampire eventually. It has a simple but very appealing style, where the atmosphere of first love and learning how to cope with your parents not being flawless, the impact of love and how to suck blood without killing, flavored with a friendly sort of humor based more on amusing situations than actual jokes invite you to turn page after page.

But the ultimate strength lies in the characters surrounding Bella and Edward. From native American werewolves, a protective Sherriff for a father to superpsychic vampire friends, they all add to the mix that little extra that makes Twilight appealing enough to challenge Harry Potter in sales. Also Twilight never backs away from breaking with vampire tradition, though this always poses a risk, especially considering Anne Rice fanatics seeing Rice’s Lestat novels as the ultimate law on all things vampire. Most things Stephany Meijer came up with aren’t bad and make for an interesting mythical vampire going well beyond Hollywood clichĂ©. The whole thing has only one serious fuck-up, the sparkling vampires. Though the idea is actually quite smart, the perfect predator with statuesque perfection being created to attract and draw in, the ultimate effect, especially on screen is just plain silly. Anne Rice gave the vampire genre a mild homo-erotic theme, sparkling Edward… well...

Now if you have spend any time on the internet the last few years it should be obvious that this text could be considered digital suicide. It’s not only wrong to even remotely like Twilight, you must be going full retard when choosing not to directly bash it. It’s a shame that so many people follow this trend blindly and how everybody seems to know what’s wrong with the whole phenomenon. Especially considering how good it sells. I am wondering how much actors like Steward and Pattinson will have to suffer during their career for being part in one of the best selling franchises this decade.

Ever played tetris for way too long? Than you probably understand the phenomenon of wanting to fit everything together afterwards, trying to puzzle together cars in your mind or even subconsciously tetris-ing the content of your cupboards. I have that… a lot and not just with tetris either. When I Assassins Creed or Prince of Persia I can’t help but look around and find routes for roof climbing and free-running, for instance. And now, while I am knee-deep in Skyrim I can’t help but wanting to collect stuff like flowers and small animals to combine into potions. But even worse I am actually trying to manage my life according to skills and perks. I need to do some grinding and gain some gold and I really have to do some sidequests to gain experience so I can get away form the main quest for a while…

Oh and the whole twilight thing, might be considered breaking Skyrim law. Though even Skyrim has vampires, but they don’t sparkle….much.

2 comments:

  1. Reason for it being digital suicide; because it's NOT good. Sorry man, you're trying to play devil's advocate and nobody's buying your appeal. The reason for the series being reviled is BECAUSE it's popular. And just because it is popular does NOT make it good. It's pandering contrivance liberally smeared with gratuitous, endless fanservice and if you actually think the story is even remotely interesting, then damn, man, you're just...ohh, man, just, no. I spend a really good portion of my days reading, and I've read part of the first twilight book [got halfway in and realized nothing was happening and nothing was going to happen; as it happens, I was right], and it's shit. Complete garbage. By its target audience of young teen girls, sure, it's OK, but even at THAT target, it's just OK. It's popularity does not stem from any talent, it stems from an endless amount of pandering. It's one long Mary Sue tale, and it sells to insecure girls and undersexed women. You may ask why nobody else does this: Because most other people have more self-respect than to publish such tripe with their name attached to it.

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  2. Hahahaha, like I said no literary brilliance and no Oscar material. On the other hand it doesn't pretend to be anything more than a romance novel.

    In a world where so many overvalued directors and writers seemed focus on mindfucking their audience and trying to create “cult” by use of far fetched plot twists, killing off main characters and seeming hell bent on bad endings, twilight aims for little more than amusement and the occasional oohs and aahs for the female audience when some 17 year old actor removes his shirt (a shame that the actresses refuse to though).

    Don’t get me wrong I love a good mindfuck, but the more they seem to try it, the less they seem to succeed, taking a break from all those pretences by watching something thoroughly uncomplicated is like taking a vacation on Ibiza where sun, alcohol and sex are more then enough to keep you entertained for two weeks however well cultured you may pretend to be back home.

    I quote what I posted earlier:
    The storyline is simple and nothing exceptionally new and it all connects seamlessly to the fantasy world of those who have just outgrown the fairytale realm. And that’s where it scores, without Shamalyinian plots or the obsessive need to kill main characters to increase drama Hollywood seems to love so much lately, neither is there the explicit need to go for any sort of bad ending, but it still manages to tell a tale of a somewhat dramatic love affair.

    It’s like comparing the music of Dillinger Escape Plan to ABBA…

    Dillinger is technically brilliant, flawless execution, progressive and very creative, musical brilliance… AbbA is uncomplicated uses chords and tone intervals our brain is programmed to like and rythms that are intuitively pleasing… guess which most people want to hear, guess which one sold the most albums?You may want to consider that a commercial success is a commercial success because people like to pay for things they want. And that does not have to be a bad thing.

    But it was not the point I was trying to make, what I was trying to point out is that what we are allowed to like or dislike seems to be dictated. Peer pressure one a massive scale in one’s and zero’s.

    And for the record, I do actually read more than just teen romance novels and I am far from an undersexed teen female… ;-)

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