29 August 2011

Games, not for kids…

Okay, if you have a kid of thirteen years or younger… and he or she…probably he, is playing HALO (any part) or Call of Duty Black Ops online, make him stop! Seriously. I am a die hard gamer, I have been for most of my life, online gaming didn’t exist when I was thirteen, hell gaming barely existed back then, and the one thing I can’t stand is the high pitched squealing and supposedly funny remarks and stunts pulled by those-who-need-not-shave. Off course every player you meet online with these shooters must be at least 16 since that is the pegi rating, but I understand that there are some exceptions here and there.

The crazy things kids say (online while playing Halo Reach multiplayer, through their headsets, making my ears bleed)

-          No mum, I already finished all my homework!
-          Oh Shit I pissed all over myself, again.
-          Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
-          La la la you can’t hit me…. Fuck I’m dead!
-          Shut up Blitz… shut up you stupid dog!... oh fuck he bit me, crap it’s bleeding like hell.
-          Has anybody ever you know… done it, or seen a vagina, or a boob?

Off course I can’t be expected to perform like the SPARTAN warrior I am online with distractions like this, hence the somewhat disappointing scores every 1 in 3 games.

There’s only one thing worse than kids forcing you to use the mute button… and that’s tea-bagging otherwise known as corpse humping or homo-erotic self gratification through nutsack-on-face-scrubbing. Totally unsympathetic it has actually made me quit a game because of the sheer annoyance factor, having been killed by someone who is probably half your age is humiliating enough, you don’t need to rub it in my face… no pun intended.

 I know it's asking a lot, but can we at least forbid kids to use headsets and promote the "teabagging is gay" statement, since most seem to be extremely homophobic anyway?

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