25 November 2010

A limit on possibillities…and undead monkeys

I don’t mean to be a whiny bitch…. But sometimes it just happens. So here you have a small blog type thingy with little more to read then me complaining about things you can do f**k-all about. In the Netherlands we call this “het is zo’n dag” which translates as, it’s such a day. Roughly the same as “one of those days”.

Around me a lot of things are happening some cool, some less cool but many of them hold interesting possibilities for me. It’s weird though, how having options can be depressing. Let me explain… but before that here is a non-Organ player…

I am good in a lot of things, I can do some drawing and painting, I am an okay poet, sometimes I manage to make music without being too annoying and I am a reasonable mental coach. There are more talents I have, but these are examples for the sake of argument. However… I excel in none of my talents, I am above average in most but exceptional in none. I blame that on there being simply too many options for me. Because, there are many different ways for me to express myself and make use of my talents I have too little time to develop one of them to it’s maximum potential.

Being confronted with this a lot lately I have this terrible feeling of “meh”… so meh.


  1. I know exactly what you mean. I have all these skills, but don't excel in any. I keep wondering how can I exercise them in a productive and even profitable way but never find a niche to fit in.

    To me, it's quite depressing to be underworked, underutilized and sometimes some of the skills can stay unused for so long, they get rusty and dull.

    It all adds up to a complete confusion on what I should be doing, what I want and what I have.

  2. oh stop moaning, the both of you. People would kill to have sids drawing skills, common they dont ask him for tattoo designs just for fun.
    And PAula, you have awesome makeupskills, and both of you are good at lots of other stuff aswell. You both might think you're 'meh' but compared to others you are 'gawd i wish i could do that'.

  3. I disagree.... I think it's like being in a race with 50 people and ending 4th, it's accomplishment but you gain little to nothing and are as much remembered as number 50, perhaps less cause coming in last is more interesting then achieving just nothing.

  4. So just choose something that you want to focus on FOR THE MOMENT BEING.
    Make december all about drawing, january all about poetry and february all about reading on mental coaching for example. Then choose new focusses. That way you can grow each of your talents without having the feeling of doing too much at once and doing all of it just half.

    Do that, some other form of that, figure it out... whatever you do, stop crying about it.
    It's all about priority anyway.

    Now that i'm back in school i can't afford to spend too much time on drawing, my friends, growth or anything without neglecting my two priorities: my kids and my school. Do you hear me whineing?

    Don't mean to be harsh though, i just feel it's more clear what i mean when i put it this way than when i use soft, soothing language ;)